Ownership

I recently read a quote by Jim Rohn that said “the greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘if you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me”. The older I get- and the more finite my energy becomes- the more this statement resonates.

My best friend told me the other day that I seem to be more focused on self than ever before. That I’ve always been an advocate for the underdog- quick to express a righteous opinion- and the first on the scene as an ally for anyone in need. The more that time passes and my experiences compound on one another, the more I’ve come to see things in less black and white binaries. The more compassionate I’ve become toward the human condition and our inherent fallibility. I still consider myself an ally, but more deeply understand that life is hard and navigating it without bumps and bruises is even harder. Judgement doesn’t help.

Professionally I tend to spread myself thin. I get bored easily and enjoy jumping around from one project and idea to another, almost always finishing, but rarely producing a truly and fully realized product. Moving onto the next sexy idea instead of iterating and improving on the last. I would always be the first person to suggest a new and (what I believed to be) innovative idea or solution and would be mystified when everyone didn’t immediately jump on board with what was sometimes an overbearing leadership strategy. Exhibiting an unwillingness to see the project through for myself first, leading by example and providing tangible data to support my ideas.

Lately I’ve been focusing on finding my True North. Slowing down in order to speed up. Staying quiet and looking inward in order to focus and ground myself in what is true, meaningful and fulfilling to me in the hopes that I can better show up for others when called. Taking a step back and rooting myself in humility while attempting to remove as much ego from the equation as my 27 year old self will allow. I’m seeking to understand as much as I’m able and forgiving myself for the ways that I’m not quite there yet. I can’t take care of or fix everyone- but I can certainly care for myself.

So if you need me- i’ll be here- cleaning up my side of the street.